How to Have an Hard Conversation with an Employee

🎯 Master Difficult Conversations: A Leader's Guide

Step 1: Set the Stage

❌ Don’t jump straight into criticism or schedule a mysterious meeting

✅ "I'd like to discuss how we can improve your project delivery performance. When would be a good time for us to talk?"

Then, when meeting, set the intention: "I need to discuss something important with you, and I want us to work through it together. This might be uncomfortable, but I believe it will help us both grow. My goal is to find ways to enhance your effectiveness within the team."

Next, follow the FBI Method:

F - Feelings

• Express your emotions professionally and authentically

• Shows vulnerability and creates connection ❌ "You're always late with deliverables" ✅ "I feel concerned about our project timelines"

B - Behavior

• Focus on specific, observable actions

• Avoid generalizations or personal attacks ❌ "You're not a team player" ✅ "During the last three sprint meetings, I noticed you worked independently without updating the team"

I - Impact

• Explain the broader consequences

• Help them understand why the behavior matters ❌ "You're causing problems" ✅ "This has delayed our release by two weeks and required other team members to work overtime"

💡 Pro Tip: Being transparent about the meeting's purpose and timing allows your team member to prepare mentally and demonstrates respect. It transforms the conversation from a potential confrontation into a collaborative problem-solving session.

Leading technical teams taught me that direct, specific feedback - delivered with empathy and clear intentions - accelerates growth and builds stronger relationships.